Twilight
As I sit here and watch Twilight, I’m slowly getting more and more depressed. I mean, it’s a love story, and I’m single, even if it is ridiculous, I still get all emo about it. I want nothing more than a relationship right now, no matter how dysfunctionally messed up it is.
If you’re out on the road…
All is right in my life again. Well sorta, I’m not going to focus on what is bad, but what is good. My room is just shy of perfect, I’ve overhauled it, cleared almost everything out so I can live in my room this summer rather than just sleeping on all my stuff. I’ve got my complete collect of Gilmore Girls. I finally broke down and bought the 7th and final season. The awesome part was how much I paid for it! It was half off, and the new copy was cheaper than the used copy. Brandy dandy new for dirt cheap!! And Taylor’s back in my life. TAYLOR’S BACK! It brings a tear to my eye when I realize this. Life is good, well almost good but who cares about the crap.
You’re yes and you’re no, you’re hot and you’re cold, you’re in and you’re out…
It has been forever since I’ve posted thanks to general stress. I never seem to have enough time to do anything, even though my grades show that I haven’t been studying. WTF? Each prof thinks their class is the only class I have, I wish. But I don’t feel like bitching and kvetching about that, there’s other things I rather talk about.
Today I stopped by my old high school, and it’s not weird being there at all. I remember complaining to one teacher, that I never actually had, just happened to be in the hallways during one class that I never attended. I would sit there for 20 minutes just saying how I can’t wait to get out of the school, get away from people who’ve seen me wandering around in my diapers and people who know me as “Tim’s kid”. I just wanted to be me, and unfortunately he was the one who had to listen to me. I also saw my American Law teacher, a woman who had possibly the most effect on me outside of the classroom. She was the one who made me realize that I’m better than what was expected of me in classes. She was the one who reassured me that my frustrations were normal and that I would be happier once I left, but that coming home wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I managed to get through high school with only one actually art class, since broadcasting counted as an art in my school, and my one official art teacher helped me embrace my inner crazy drummer. I remember people telling me how weird is was, and that you didn’t want her because her expectations were ridiculous. At the end of the year, I couldn’t believe how much fun I had with her. She challenged me in ways that I had never known, forcing me to thing abstractly and learn to work with what I have within reach. She also taught me to handle my anger, and not to kill fellow classmates. The final teacher that I saw was one that I never had, he crashed my gym class and drove me up the wall. He taught me to chill out, just embrace the moment, and live for a laugh. He genuinely looked out for me every step of my senior year, and still does today. He offered me help in my classes, informing me that he won’t give me the answers, but he would help me find them.
I felt like a social retard in front all of these people. I got so flustered in front of everyone.
After all of this I went out to run some errands and I ripped my pants… my favorite pants! L:KJFOFKDSJFOISDFJdkfnsdfljwfdsvkjsdfoireutrckrfi!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s my day, yup.
Enter your password to view comments.
Protected: Now she drinks from the bitter cup, I’m trying to get her to give it up
The future freaks me out
So last night, instead of sleeping like I should have, I stayed up to talk to Holly Gore. Let’s just say, she’s my hero. We covered so many random topics, I wish I talked to her more when she was in the states. What finally made me realize she is awesome was the conversation about her being in Japan. As everyone know, when I graduate college, I plan on working for a cruise ship or EuroDisney. The closer I get to it, the more I realize how far away from home I will be, and how I won’t just be able to pickup and leave for a weekend like I can do here. I began to worry that I was being a giant baby for being like this, but after talking to Holly I see that it is okay. Life isn’t terrible, even when you are homesick. So thank you Holly, for potentially saving my dreams from my own fears.
My life on standby…
My life has been nothing but panic for the past few days. Part of it has been my fault, and part of it is just things I can’t control but still end up stressing over any way. I should be catching up on work, and getting ahead since the next few weeks are going to be busy, but I just can’t seem to motivate myself. It is starting to feel like last spring, you know, the one where I failed two classes, and I’m terrified that I’m going to go down that path again. I guess I just need to get my butt into gear a bit more.
In other news, my brother is coming down for a visit on Monday to see all of my classes. I can’t wait to drag him to Comparative Politics, German 101, and possibly Nature of Politics. I give him 5 minutes in each class before he dozes off. As much as we fight, I really hope he comes to Rutgers, I like having him around.
My living situation is still up in the air. I know I’m living in Leupp, I have a room, but I don’t know what room I’ll be in. I could be in my current room again, or I could be living with Cassie, or I could be living with Kate’s roommate Adriana. As much as I hate to be a pain about it, I’m really getting annoyed. The whole Leupp house has been on the table since November, and people still aren’t sure if they are living there. And then there are others who are moving into a different house, and but aren’t sure yet because of loan issues. I just hate saving everything to the last minute and letting “Future Cait” deal with things, because “Present Cait” is pissed off.
I downloaded Skype to keep in touch with Jess. I love talking to her, but AIM and texting isn’t as fun as face to face conversations. Let’s see how this one goes….
Leftrightleftwriteleft's Blog 